Hello, my friends: Welcome to the safe space where kinksters, rookies, and all those in between, unite. If you’re looking to explore a new fetish, maybe dabble in a few new kinks, or find out what exactly a “brat” is (…among other things), you’ve come to the right place.
Meet your new trusty sidekick that is low-key the R-rated version of Myers-Briggs: the BDSM test.
For the ~experienced~ kinksters, a BDSM test will help you find something new to try in (or out of) the bedroom. For those who are on the vanilla side looking to dabble into ventures you *might* be into, this test will also help you in all your sexy time fun. Let’s get into all the details about it and what you can expect.
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What’s a BDSM test?
It’s kind of like a Myers-Briggs test for sexual personality types, says Gabi Levi, a sexpert who runs erotica site Shag Story. But if you’re looking for a more ~solid~ definition, “BDSM tests are typically a list of various sexual acts and attitudes that the test-taker ranks on a scale ranging from ‘I’m 100 percent into that’ to ‘Nope. Hard limit, never gonna happen,’” explains sex and relationship therapist Stefani Goerlich.
“You answer questions about what kinds of sensations you enjoy giving and receiving, how much control you like to take or give over in your relationships, and how you feel about various fantasy and role-play scenarios,” says Goerlich.
Some example Qs you can expect to answer:
- Do you enjoy behaving like a child?
- Do you love being tied up with zero control?
- Do you enjoy hunting prey?
Expect to be asked deeper, non-sexual questions because BDSM isn’t only a sexual experience—often times, it requires a high-level of emotional intimacy too, says Levi.
What do your results mean?
Once you finish, you’ll end up on a page that shows off all of your results, which is basically a list of which BDSM archetypes you align most with on a percentage scale from 0 to 100.
“You’ll receive a list of various power exchange dynamics, ranging from: Fifty Shades style light dominance and submission, to master/slave lifestyles, as well as more niche interests such as caregiver/little and pet play,” Goerlich explains. “The test then tells you, based on what you expressed an interest in, which dynamics might be most comfortable and enjoyable for you and your partner(s).”
Some of those look like brat and brat tamer, master/mistress and slave, caregiver and little, pet play, etc.
“At first glance, it can seem overwhelming, but BDSM can be so valuable to someone’s sex life, personal life, and emotional growth,” says Levi. “The world of BDSM is so much larger than most people think it is—it reaches beyond ‘dom’ and ‘sub’ archetypes into kinks and scenes that are uniquely specific to a participant’s sexual preferences.” Kind of cool, right?
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Where can I take a BDSM test?
Alright, alright, now everything you’ve been waiting for: How to take this BDSM test. Head on over to bdsmtest.org or mojoupgrade.com to take the test. They’re two of the best sites around with slight differences.
BDSMTest.org gives you a lengthy list of fetishes and kink dynamics, along with a percentage-rating of how aligned your answers were with each possibility. (Like, hi, I got 99 percent brat). This one is probs best if you’re single or just curious about your own tastes.
MojoUpgrade.com is better for seeing how your kinks align with your partners. It allows couples to separately rate their sexual interests, then at the end, groups everything you both agreed on into a list to explore and play with.
Both options can be really powerful tools to build trust and enhance communication within your relationship, says Goerlich.
Okay, so you took the BDSM test. How will it improve your sex life?
A ton of really amazing ways. For one, “BDSM takes the fundamental ideas of power, play, and pleasure, and puts them under a magnifying glass,” says Levi. “By understanding which elements of those fundamentals turns you on and turns you off is going to make you better understand your own sexuality and desires.”
Taking them can also help ease feelings of sexual shame or insecurity. “By taking tests such as these with your partner, you learn so much about what you might have in common but have been too afraid to talk about,” says Goerlich, whose clients often say they feel embarrassed or ashamed of what they want to do sexually.
Plus, who wouldn’t want to gauge sexual compatibility with your partner? Maybe it’s a lil much to pull out a BDSM test on date one, but if we’re asking about love languages and astrology signs, why not?
But remember this: Although BDSM tests can offer amazing insight into your own dream world of kink, they should only be used for inspo. “These are not psychological assessments that have been evaluated for reliability and validity,” Goerlich says. That said, my boyfriend and I can totallyyyyy vouch for how much fun a BDSM Test date night was.
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